In constantly searching for ways to better promote Los Cuatro Tulipanes, we were recently approached by FASHION Magazine to be a feature hotel in an article they were doing on Panama. When one editor arrived wearing a cowboy hat and bug-eyed glasses, I knew from the start that we’d never live up to their standards.

There were a few emails exchanged and by the time the fashionistas were to arrive, I had their whole itinerary planned out. We would first explore my simple, yet cutting edge wardrobe characterized by things like monochromatic t-shirts and ‘stylishly tattered’ running sneakers. I spent nights dreaming up various in vogue outfits I could wear, perhaps making the debut of a pair of pants I bought in Spain, crafted solely from the bark of an albino chestnut tree. I wasn't entirely sure why they had chosen me to be the feature of a fashion magazine, but hey, I wasn't about to complain.

Upon meeting them the editor though, it became apparent it was not my style she were interested in, but rather that of the hotel. You don’t even want to hear about Keenan’s countless hair styles? I thought to myself, as their attention seemed to be so unfortunately focused on the inanimate.

They were planned to stay in Monjas 2B which has a nice fashionable ambiance, if I do say so myself. I explored the internet using the search phrases “things that fashion people like” and “things that fashion people like to have in their hotel rooms”, but came across a variety of trends and fads that seemed to be a bit out of my league. In assuming I could crochet or draw some sort of small welcome gift to leave under their pillow, I was sorely mistaken, as most sites of modern day high fashion spoke prominently of things like evening ensembles, vintage collections, and some kind of remarkable textile known to industry insiders as chiffon.

Instead, I threw a few desert popsicles in their freezer because in my experience no one, not even a fashion diva, can turn down a ice pop.

Keenan made a good point: what if they need something during their stay? So in preparation for their arrival, I worked hard to gather the phone numbers of all important fashion-related suppliers in Panama City, should our high profile guests have run into—as fashion authorities often do—any sort of unplanned snag. I contacted the local beauty parlors, spas, runway coaches, and handbag salespeople and made sure they’d each be on-call “from the hours of six AM to eight PM” I told them. “Fashion editors don’t work normal hours.”

Before I knew it, the fashion editors had left and all I had to prove they were ever here was a lipstick-marked bottle of water. We did all the small things we normally do to make a guest's stay perfect: fresh flowers in the room, welcome basket stocked with goodies, beers and sodas in the fridge, turn down service at 5, light music prepared for their return from dinner. And who knows if the hotel lived up to their standards: I guess only the publication will tell. But for the time being, I’m just content on reading Vogue.