It was a busy week at Los Cuatro Tulipanes and four of the apartments were occupied when Elida the maid called in sick. I phoned frantically the several other maids I knew and trusted, but each of them seemed to have prior cleansing engagements. I even offered a free bottle of Windex, but no dice.

Commercial space for rent is getting more expensive in Casco Viejo and we figured it fair to give a shout out to our favorite friends who run great small businesses that don't get the attention they deserve, so that perhaps you'll go there and spend your money.

Adam stayed here for 10 days so... he deserves two shout outs. As Matt has wrote, there are times at the hotel when we're not exactly busy. Now that's not a good thing at all, but because it's the middle of the low season, we take it with a grain of salt, tequila and some limes.

A friend from college came down here a few weeks ago. Adam is his name, being doctor is his game. Adam is studying to be a Pediatric Gastroenterologist. He's been in school for the past 22 years and he's looking at 9 more. He loves it. He even helped realign my spine and informed me on the benefits of Flaxseed oil. Even better, Adam is blind. He can't even see his patients, he just knows.....

For the longest time, I was under the impression that SUNTRACS was a kind of chips. "OK" I'd say to friends arguing so vehemently over them. "So they're healthy and all. But is it really worth shouting over a baked snack?"

Living in Casco Antiguo, I am privy to a lot of things people in the "modern quarter" are not. Things like beer parties at noon on Tuesday, frenzied domino matches that last long into the night, and soccer games that long withstand their ghetto veneer.

So you know what you are getting into before you decide to visit or invest in Casco Viejo, here are 5 good rules that may save you the trip. If any of these apply to you, Multiplaza Mall or Decameron might be better places for you to spend your valuable vacation or investment time.